3:58am
Do you ever get so… consumed? Consumed… by so much beauty that it overwhelms you and you want to run around screaming and pulling your hair out and throwing up all over the place.
Do you ever look at the trees and just wonder how the intertwined limbs look so much like two bodies and souls making love or do you ever look at that stars and wonder if they’re actually angels and that they’re very much alive and not delayed sparkles of light.
Sometimes when I just look at nature and people and the beautiful complexities of the human body and the infinitesimal space that is found outside our galaxy, I feel so choked so claustrophobic because…
because of the frustrating limitations of the human mind because I cannot grasp, cannot comprehend just how.. just how.. beyond us the world is. I wonder about what it would be like to meet God. My mind would explode at the sight of him, I would want to tear out my guts and my heart and my brain because I’d never understand. His thoughts will always always be too lofty to attain.
I want to ask him to put me inside a rose because i want to see it develop and grow and bloom.
I want him to take me to the stars and be surrounded by those gases and those pretty sparkly things whatever they are. I want to be inside a supernova when it happens.
I want to understand beauty. I want to find beauty in the ugliest of things the strangest of faces the most frightening of people.
I want people to wake up. I wanna tell them: Look! Look around you! There’s so much of it… there’s so much of it can’t you see you’ve got to think about it. You’ve got to fill yourself up with everything you can so that your existence has meaning, so that your life has a point so that everyday won’t be the same and you won’t die just dreaming you’ll live always always trying to touch it, touch life, make it tangible make it real have it solid in your very hands.
My chest is about to explode.
I/You/We have to remember and understand that things are never what they seem, you always have to look deeper. You always have to look.
