December 2011
2 posts
:[
My mom just left for the Philippines. She’ll be gone for 2 weeks. This is the longest that we will be away from each other. I can’t stop crying. I’m such a loser. I miss her already.
August 2011
1 post
June 2011
2 posts
You want thingamabobs?
alephaaant:
I’ve got twenty
Twenty fucking thingamabobs
Here
For you
Take them
Take my thingamabobs
Damn Ariel. Calm down.
April 2011
2 posts
I need to organize the clutter that is my life.
And I already have been making progress. Compared to a lot of people, I live a charmed life. I don’t have to work, my parents take care of everything, I have a happy loving complete family living by good values and strong faith in God. This is all because of all the hardwork of my parents and God has been very generous of his blessings. But of course, nothing’s perfect. Everyone has skeletons in...
October 2010
1 post
July 2010
1 post
Chillin' Like A Villain: Happy 21st birthday... →
Thank you for:
-telling me whats right and wrong
-covering up for me
-making me roflmfao any day
-teaching me how to straighten my hair
-playing vid games with me
-driving me every where hehehe
-telling me which boys to go for looool
-giving me the sn mysocksilost
-sleeping next to me…
BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER!!!! (well, next to drinking with my old man, hah!)
June 2010
1 post
WHAT I’VE ULTIMATELY LEARNED AT THIS POINT
You are capable of regenerating everything you lose. You can find new happiness. You can find new love. You can dream new dreams. No matter what.
Learning is easy. It’s unlearning something that’s really difficult.
The worth of something lies in how much you sacrificed for it.
May 2010
1 post
Things I Can Understand:
People who are naturally shy and struggle engaging with other people in social environments.
Keeping interaction to a minimum with people you don’t really like by being brisk, walking away, and not lingering around long.
Things I Really Find Rude:
Being with a group of people and singling out someone for conversation while alienating everyone else in the...
April 2010
2 posts
My baby sister, Ellie, turns 14 years old in 6 months.
Fourteen. I was in 8th grade when I was fourteen. When I think about the things I’ve seen and done when I was her age, I feel like telling Ellie: no, you’re still a kid, a silly kid, and you have to stay that way, stay as silly forever, please. And then I realized that this was meant to serve myself— to validate my...
We can never really tell if we have something, everything, or nothing at all. To me, they all feel the same. The intangible is always immeasurable. The immeasurable cannot ever be precise. And what cannot be precise cannot be accounted for. The only thing we are full of is emptiness.
Why? We’re human, that’s why.
So much for my mock wisdom.
March 2010
5 posts
Here’s a game I play to scare myself:
I call it the creature feature of the shower. Right before I slide the shower door open, I imagine something to be waiting for me outside. A number of times I imagine a dead girl, hair to her knees in Japanese horror fashion, skin peeled away in a great number of places including her eyelids, and her eyes themselves are red and they’re looking...
New friends help you discover new sides to you.
Old friends remind you who you are.
I’m blessed to have the best of both worlds.
Passive-Aggressive
I am really tired of seeing these stupid, bitter statements on my online feeds.
Passive-aggressive, when taken apart describes a trait common among people who take the cowardly route of employing mind fucks and ambiguous declarations because they don’t know how to contain their precious, precious feelings.
Aggressive because they feel extreme emotions of fury or insecurity. Passive because they...
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
They say that being too needy gets in the way of loving, that one needs to be perfectly self-sufficient or “whole” in order to be in a healthy relationship. All this is true, yet, I’ve found that some people misconstrue this thought as the need to maintain a strict autonomy from each other for fear of losing themselves.
I find that two people cannot love each other unless they create a genuine...
EVIL EYE
I dislike being stared at. I understand that in public, people are bound to stare at each other. Brief stares of recognition are okay. Prolonged, deliberate stares are rude and make me uncomfortable.
I especially hate men who stare. There’s a difference between a man who gives you a brief, fleeting stare of admiration, and a man who acts like he has the right to devour you with his eyes… and...
January 2010
0 posts
THANK YOU 2009!
Lessons learned in 2009:
Sometimes, you just have to keep doing what you’re doing even if you’re not sure it’s for you anymore. Somehow, something will hit the right spot.
Don’t force the issue. If it’s not for you, it’s not for you.
Sometimes, quitting/giving up/letting go is the right thing to do.
It’s time to grow up. It’s gonna be 2010....
December 2009
2 posts
November 2009
2 posts
Happy Thanksgiving! There should be 1 day of complaining and 364 days of thanksgiving.
In my mind, I did the right thing…. Sometimes, you just have to stand up for yourself and what you want from life. And make no excuses, or feel sorry for ever choosing what I think is good for me.
October 2009
7 posts
Daunted.
I think the correct word for me is daunted. I’m daunted by all the possibilities that lie in front of me now — which careers or interests to pursue, what I can actually make into a career and what is really just something I want to come home to at the end of the day and peacefully keep to myself without pressure, what things to pursue NOW, what ideas can wait, what things I might be...
“You met me at a very strange time in my life.”
– Fight Club
Sigh
Some days just don’t belong to you. You wake up, and you can feel it in your bones that something, something will go wrong. And then it’s never really just one thing. It’s always one thing after another. So you take a deep breath, say a little prayer for strength and patience, and go head-on into the day, taking all the little blows that just know where to hit.
But the great...
It has dawned on me only tonight how abnormally busy my life is and how boring it has made me. Ever since I got my license, I haven’t had a break from driving and I’m tired of it. If I’m not driving myself to school, I have to pick up my sisters from school or my mom from work or do errands for whoever. And then school…well, it’s a big blahhh. I’m super...
Only Here
It’s funny— tossing and turning last night, thinking all the things i was thinking, i wouldn’t have expected anyone else to be going through those funny thoughts i was thinking at that moment. but reading up on my friends’ thoughts i thought “wow they’re thinking the same things i’ve been thinking”.
So it was nice to know that through all of that...
I’ve come to realize that all the people we idolize at one point in our lives, celebrities, or leaders, or artists, are essentially canvases upon which we project all our highest ideals, and unattainable qualities. And I think it’s always such an empowering moment when you break the illusion, and realize that you always had those golden qualities… you just didn’t want to own up to them.
September 2009
2 posts
Everyone’s cramming, while I’m blogging.
Okay so, I don’t feel that people should force themselves to be religious, or even to have a spiritual practice. Things like prayer and contemplation can open up all these doors and windows inside oneself that some people just can’t deal with. And I believe that some people choose to practice their spirituality through less...
Oh, the Valley!
The Valley is a small place. It’s a small place that’s packed with millions and millions of people. Imagine a giant Venn diagram to illustrate every social circle possible - well, that’s the Valley in a nutshell. We’re all connected to each other through the schools we went to, the places where we live, the friends we have, and the families we come from. We’re in such...
August 2009
18 posts
Again and again
So it’s true, what my mother said.
(it’s strange to start sentences with “my mom always said…” when at one point in my stupid teenage years I promised myself I wouldn’t listen to her.)
My mother always said that one day, all those friends you accumulated, they’ll drift away, lose touch, disappear. You’ll be left with many acquaintances and very...
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
– Charlie Chaplin
“Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.”
– Vanilla Sky
The Virgin Suicides
One of the Lisbon sisters says “All we want to do is live… if only someone would let us.”
Why did they kill themselves then?
Maybe their lives were as alive as death, and that they thought mabye there would be no difference.
What?
Maybe dying was the only way they could live, and in so many ways, that is true.
So so very true.
I’ve been thinking a lot about...
Here we go again.
Do you ever get this feeling that you were made for something bigger? Something… I don’t know, beyond you? Like you were being held back by your skin, pulled down by gravity, strapped in a straight-jacket. Of course all these things can be put under the category of “fear”, but all the other metaphors make it sound more poetic.
Well every year, I tell myself that this...
Lure me in
Today I saw a spider spinning her web. She intricately weaved one silver string over another. So fragile, so light.
It caught the light of the sun, glittering like tiny little diamonds. I felt hypnotized. It is the most beautiful trap I have ever seen. Nature rocks, hah!
And I'm wondering
Will I wait for that time of tribulation before I stop being angry at God, and make my heart right with Him again?
Sooner or later, we all ask for help.
See, it’s really easy to be a Terrible Friend. All you have to do is want so badly to sink into your soft, cool cotton comforters, fall fast asleep and dream about a world filled with delicious, fat-free ice cream. And then you ignore Friend In Need.
But if you take Terrible Friend and force him or her to listen intently to Friend in Need, Terrible Friend will realize that being there for...
3:58am
Do you ever get so… consumed? Consumed… by so much beauty that it overwhelms you and you want to run around screaming and pulling your hair out and throwing up all over the place.
Do you ever look at the trees and just wonder how the intertwined limbs look so much like two bodies and souls making love or do you ever look at that stars and wonder if they’re actually angels and...
“There will only be one thing in the world I will never accept — that you love me...”
– Ninoy Aquino
Tiring
They always used to tell us that you can’t trust everybody. Sometimes even the ones you think you know, they up and stab you the moment you turn your back.
The world is so full of people you don’t expect, and it isn’t always a good thing. And because of one incident, I suddenly find myself doubting every single person coming my way.
This may sound cruel but sometimes I wish you would go through something so heavy, so deep that it will change you forever… something that will cut you through and through… something that will hurt you, pull you under, push you out. It’s gotten to the point that I think the only thing that can change you is an event that will pull out your reality from under you.
On a lighter...
A Great Trivia
I was one month premature when I was born. My parents were planning on naming me August Faith, however I came a month earlier. My mom didn’t want to change my name, but my dad did. According to my lola, they talked about this for days, but I guess my mom gave in since she didn’t want to her my dad go on and on and on… And so, my dad suggested to name me after the valedictorian of...
Optomitrist: Are you the middle child?
Me: Yes.
Optomitrist: WHY?
Me: uhh.. well.. (mind you, he was seriously waiting for an explanation) that's just the way it is.
Optomitrist: Oh. Very good.
Whaaaat!?!